Thai Girls....their lies and the liars that they are!

Ok people You have seen the pic of Da Wizard's latest just down below or click here . Lovely huh? We rate her as a 7/10 for looks but 9/10 for charm, whit and loveliness. (Poll stats from Da Wizard and Homer).

Now she is supposedly low mileage 2 or 3 owners from new, university educated, good job , parents not totally skint and as she doesn't want a boyfriend an ideal candidate for Mia Noi (2nd wife) for Da Wizard. Ralph doesn't object either so its all looking good.

Then this week it started as it always does...straight girls OR hookers....THE LIES!!

I decided not to give you the whole sick buffalo story as it would take too long and I have to try and make a living rather than sit here all-day and blog. Anyway I decided that I would leave some facts about how to deal with the lying Thai Goat.

1. Remember that this lying is somewhat of a cultural thing. Eg Prostitution is a illegal here in Thailand but hey take a look in Rathcchada , Petburi etc.

2. You ain't gonna change it. She will lie and guess what? You will too. Learn to roll with it.

3.If she has been a hooker then ask your self this question. If you stopped supporting her what would she do? If the answer is she would go back to whoring then all you are doing my friend is leasing a Thai hooker(standard current rate 20 000bht a month).
95% of thai girls support themselves without being hookers so why can’t yours?

4. Always read her SMS messages from her phone but never let her know that you do. Any man pretending to be or that she says is 'just friend' is trying to or is humping your Goat. You will know from the SMS as to whether she genuinely has a platonic relationship or not.

Da Wizard recommends this tip too. Tell your goat that the Farang here can pay DTAC or 12Call 5000bht and they give us a printout of the SMS's that have been sent. Of course you would never do that but that service is available. This makes the average Goat wary and makes her think that you are not the ruthless man that you will need to be to make this relationship work.

5. Bug the home computer . Great Key Loggers can be bought for very little money on the Internet. I use Actmon from Iopus. This will give you access to her email passwords etc and chat conversations.
I just used it to recover this posting too as my PC crashed and all my liitle whitty muses were nearly lost.
Not checking her email and other computer activity during the initial months is just foolish on your behalf. Remember Thai girls of all backgrounds 'have a Pandora’s box of lies under their beds each of which has never been heard of by human ear' Mostly though the lies are transparent but the Westerner just doesn’t want to believe. Oh ya forget her right to privacy! What about your right not to get fucked over and get a broken heart? Take a look at this horror story here.

6. This sending money home malarchy. Get real about it. Look at what decent people send home... and don't send more. If your Goat's family is a thieving, grabbing, up country mafia type, then do ‘Wake UP’ and go get another one. Finding great Goats is easy whatever your age or finances. The devil that you already know may not be better

Now this posting is somewhat cynical but trust me, we all get burned. Its a fact of Asia not just Thailand BUT Da Wizard is not as cynical as some.

Don't heed da rules and you will get eaten. Here is what another great Bangkok Blogger has to say :

”If your girlfriend used to be a hooker, then she is already addicted to fucking other men for pleasure and profit and will never change. She assumed that you knew this and would ignore her infidelities so long as she was discreet. She lied to save your feelings and your face. You must either put up with it, or find a respectable girl. It’s your call.”

7. Da Wizard's personal rule is that Thai girls make great mistresses but lousy girlfriends. Of the many many people that i know I only know of two relationships that I could call successful with Thai girls. The comment "There are no such things as bad dogs just bad owners" is relavant here.

8. Don't buy land or build a house in her village unless you want to live in it yourself. And if you do put it in a company name not hers.

9.P.S. Da Wizard is as stoopid as the next one and probably wanted to write this post as much to re-warn himself. Besides you guys reading this have a girl that is different right? NOT!