Standard Contract Patpong Mistress

NOW THEREFORE KNOW YE BY ALL THOSE HERE PRESENT:

WHERE AS:

_____________________________________________, A FARANG of able mind and sound body and here to fore of substantial monetary means (hereinafter called “HOOKEE”).

AND

_____________________________________________, A THAI GIRL of irresistible beauty, inscrutable mind, insatiable appetite and with no visible means of support (hereinafter call “HOOKER”).

AGREE AS FOLLOWS:

1. The HOOKEE and HOOKER agree to cohabitate for the provision of mutual pleasure under the following assumed obligations:

1.A. OBLIGATIONS OF THE HOOKEE:

· The HOOKEE shall provide lodging, transportation, food, clothing, video, audio, dope and all other expendables.

· The HOOKEE shall provide Baht 500 each day for services rendered for the term of the agreement.

· The HOOKEE shall pay Baht 100 per day in consideration of Thai language lessons.

· The HOOKEE agrees to hold dear and true to the HOOKER to the exclusion of all other THAI GIRLS, KATOYS, and other combinations thereof except:

(1) On Sunday and Monday evening of each week he may butterfly but not in the bar where the HOOKER worked (except that one night a month he may go out with the DJ’s wife by prior contract). ON SUCH EVENINGS he agrees to ask the girls to leave by 9:00 a.m. before the maid arrives.

(2) During the “PERIOD” each month when the HOOKER is unable to perform her duty, the HOOKEE may butterfly on PATPONG but agrees to use MMM or equivalent.

· The HOOKEE agrees to bring wristwatch, perfume, candy, and shoes on all trips to Singapore, Hong Kong, or the USA.

· The HOOKEE agrees to provide free access to the home to all friends and family of the HOOKER but NO boyfriends.

· The HOOKEE agrees that the HOOKER may butterfly on Sunday and Monday night after he has left for golf course, bar or massage parlor. She may not butterfly with any of his friends, enemies, or associates. She may have a Thai boyfriend but agrees not to bring him to PATPONG or give him money, clothes, gold, motorcycle or any other tangible item from the proceeds of this contract.

1.B. OBLIGATIONS OF THE HOOKER:

· Smile and be kinky

2. The HOOKEE and HOOKER agree to refer all VD cases to the Chinese Fortuneteller at the MADRID BAR for resolution. The HOOKEE agrees to pay for the doctor.

3. The term of this agreement is 30 days with an automatic 30-day extension unless cancelled by A FIGHT IN A BAR.

SIGNED: WITNESSED:

__________________________ _____________________________

THE HOOKEE ANY BARTENDER

__________________________ _____________________________

THE HOOKER NOTORIZED BY

Homer: (You know who you are!)