Not about Bangkok But Funny

A man was standing next in line at a checkout, when the attractive
blonde woman in front of him turned around and gave him a big smile.
"Hello," she said, as she waited for her change.
"Er, I'm sorry. Do I know you?" The man said in some confusion.
"Oh, my mistake. I thought you were the father of one of my children," she
said apologetically, and picking up her shopping, she left the
store.

The man was astonished. He thought how amazing that a good looking woman
like that should have forgotten who fathered her children. Then he began to
worry. He had had an encounter in his youth that could have resulted in a
child he didn't know about. She had been blonde, pretty, and about the same
height.

On leaving the store, he saw the woman getting into her car. He ran
over to her and said, "Look, you couldn't have been the girl I met
that night at a party in Birkenhead, in 1980 could you? We screwed on the
snooker table in front of everyone, things got really wild and I got so
drunk that I didn't get your number."

The woman looked utterly outraged and said, "No! I'm your son's
English teacher."

Road Blocks Checking Us Out

Homer just called to remind me that its illegal here in Thailand for us not to carry our passports and that the Gestapo were stopping whitey in Sathorn checking people's paperwork.

Its also been announced that television is going to be stopped in Thailand after 12 midnite because of the high fuel charges. Now its not clear if this will affect the international channels but its yet another control that the authorities are planting on the heads of the populace.

I don't find the new laws etc as bothersome as many of my friends do but Nationalism is always a bit scary for me. Thai Rak Thai is the name of the controlling party which means 'Thais love Thais".... imagine in Enagland having the 'English love English Party'.... Xenophobic at best and would probably be illegal.

Anyway the blog musings haven't been coming recently but they do come and go. Busniness is going well thank god....keep worrying that something is gonna go wrong....

Wow what a weekend

Bangkok boomed....and we got caught up the whirlwind....Friday night Patpong....Muzzic Cafe both 1 and 2 then Lucifer then back to Homers for some after party.....

Da Old Bill were out piss testing again....34 different venues done over the weekend.... we missed them all thank god but I guess our day will come. Ralph's boss was held until 5am whilst he waiting for his humiliation of course negative but the two hours queuing is a Royal Pain the arse.

Saturday was a bit of a blur with the Friday Party carrying on through...goats were present of course although only Homer rutted.... Da Wizard was content with twitching and slobbering on the couch.

Saturday night unrousable at the Night Bazarr then home for Da Wizard.... Homer ventured out agin and took the plunge.... Patpong then off to Ratchada until 6.30am (avoided the Gestapo) the back home with two straight goats and a very drunk Chinaman?????????

No need to question Homer's sexuality nor apparantly the Chinaman's but they all crashed at Homers... Da Wizard woke up early feeling great.... went for lunch then got blown by a girl who works at the US Embassy..... dinner at Emporium... Piri Piri chicken just rocks....

Then back to the Pong.... Ralph was on a mission.... Homer burnt out.... Da Wizard went home then came out again.... same ole same ole... Bangkok is rockin right now.....

Why the fuck do any of you live anywhere else????????

Bangkok Markets Buying Fruit and Vegatables

Ralph was roughley kicked out of bed this morning and the pair of us strolled over to the local market at 7.00am to score a big bag of veggies and fruit as we are now making 2litres of juice eachday so that we get our required 9 portions that we require to maintain our health through this rollercoaster lifestyle that we enjoy and endure.


In the collage above you can see monks collecting alms (note how Da Wizard plays with Photoshop) , flower sellers....an acceptable Goat buying Pork and in the middle of it a Mosque standing peacefully amongst the Buddhists enjoying their lives....lets hope it stays like that.


Watched Opra this morning....the horde of women on the audience whooped for joy when a woman was seen to be dating a guy 30 years her junior....why do they call men who do that predators but yet laude women??????? Hey what the hell is Da Wizard doing watchin' Opra anyway....best get back out and goatin'!!!!!.



Paul Oakenfold is playing at Narcissus thie weekend....won't be able to get pics as the security are onto us but its gotta be worth a look. If we go it will be our third year of watchin Oakey....we boxed last year lets avoid that this year eh?????

Da Katoi -Transexuals in Thailand and FRS

2 days ago Da Wizard thought that buying two FRS (Family Radio Service) walkie talkies might be a good idea to communicate with Homer seeing as the fone system here now in TLand is just atrocious currently and also it would save us both some money as we constantly call each other with quibbles and queries.

So I grabbed Ralph and we trekked over to MBK where Da Wizard had seen such radio available for about 70$. We went to the first stall that we found which was being tended by a Katoi (a bloke who wants to be a girl/transexual/ladyboy or whatever). Now this Katoi was quite cute and good at the sales blurb too howver she forgot the ultimate sale rule that God gave us two ears and one mouth for good reason. This KT just bulldozed me and before I knew where I was I had this lovely cute pair of radio alledgedly made by Motorola. The KT claimed that they worked over 3km so they were certainly strong enough but unfortunately the instructions were in Chinese so not really of much use to Da Wizard who is not that knowledgable in Chink.

When I explained that my Chinese language skills were less than non existant the KT just carried on trying to show me how these James Bond radios worked...up until it was pointed out to our gender challenged friend that NO English meant No Sale.

At this point the sexually mutated excuse for a human being decided to hurl abuse at me. Da Wizard wasn't aware that not speaking Chinese was immorral in Thailand and could deserve such a tirade from this hormone injected freak so with a loud "FUCK YOU" the wizard decided to go spend his hard earned fun tickets elsewhere.

Now this kind of emotional instabilty is a common thing with the Katoi.... they say they give the best head and hey I have no reason to doubt that! But having to deal with a confused man who is filled with female hormones and can squirt milk out of their false tits (yes they can!!!) on a daily basis must be awful.

So Da Advise for today is ya when in Rome fuck the Romans but don't shack up with a surgically created modern day beautiful Frankenstein.

Desecration of the Koran By US Troops

Ok The Koran....its a book of fairy stories some of them very scary BUT people choose to follow its rules and if they want to wear Star Wars type clothing and behave in a medieval way then good luck to them. I don't wish to disturb them or their culture as long as it doesn't disturb mine.

The stamping upon the Koran by US troops is despicable but let me just make a comment here:-


In a Saudi Arabia Christians aren't allowed to own a bible .... and thats just tourists!!!!!

So shouldn't really the Muslims be very grateful that their terrorist prisoners are allowed to even have access to Koran? A right that is denied to other religions in many Muslim countries?

I wish the world would wake up and see these pre-historic religions for what they are. (That last comment would by the way be punishable by death in many Muslim nations. How pathetic!)

10 Reasons Why We Love Thailand

1.The King who is admired and adored by the whole population. His Majesty is the glue that holds this place together. Lets hope he stays healthy for a longtime to come.

2. Food everywhere and my god is it good!

3. When you smile at someone they smile back.

4. The frequent use, by Thai people, of the phrase 'mai pen rai' meaning 'never mind' when things don't go their way.

5. You never get bothered by the men. After living in other Asian countries where the men are such a pain in the arse Thailand is refreshing....hey if the people ever drive you crazy here....go spend a month in Indonesia!!! The Indos wrote the book on how to be a pain the arse!!


6. Living here has made me appreciate the rights that we have in the West and the racial equality that we give to our immigrants.

7. Not having to worry when Ralph is out late at night 'cos I ain't never lived in anywhere more safe in my life.

8. Songkran.... the water festival... three days of insanity in the hottest month of the year. Every country should have the equivalent. Its one of the wonders of the world for Da Wizard.

9. The weather but thats cos Da Wizard comes from cold regions.

10. Ya ok you knew it was coming....... SEX!! The sheer 'up for it ness' of the female population in general. Where else in the world can you walk down the street with the most beautiful girl you have ever seen and by the end of your walk you have seen 7 more whom are more beautiful? Ya leave the Mrs at home.... she will be ashamed of her fat body when she gets here anyway.