End Game of Project Prostitute Part II

Well I have already written on my new sexy o2 Atom a huge essay about the aforementioned crack smokin' whore but decided not to publish it. Far better I do it in true Wizard style and just say it how it is.

1. She put black magic on me (or her friend did).

2. Pak Tri and visits to holy places fixed it. (I will write more about this amazing human being later).

3. Da Wizard decided not to publish photos of her ( of which I have several lovely ones) as after she ended it she went and made her first porn movie. Go to www.asianstreemeat.com and look for Goy (not her real name). My pics were so much more flattering as she had her clothes on and didn't have a diseased, aged sex pest hanging out of her as she does in her movie. Da Wizard was worried about these pics causing me a problem if she got nicked or something so as far as I know she don't know that I know. Lets keep it that way.

4. Da Wizard is currently blogging from Hong Kong feeling rather holy after not having a drink, cigarette or any meat products for 48 hours.

5. Da wizard is a closet tree hugger.

6. Da Wizard is ok now.

7. Please call his mum.

Just an interesting final postscript to this bizarre and almost now boring saga.... D.W. asked Ralph why she didn't leave over Goy (LOL).... Ralph replied 'I wouldn't leave you over someone as insignificant as that! I wouldn't give your relationship with that sperm bucket such credibilty!!!'........ gotta love Ralph. Wish she would keep her clothes on in public though and stop punching people.

Off to Tin Lau temple now in Hong Kong.... gonna get my fortune read. Something I rarely do as whenever I have visited such prophets in the past they have always been terrified to tell me what was gonna' happen. F### they are terrified? Imagine how I feel being told ???????

Ladies Night at Coyote Convent

It is a known fact that Ralph, Homer and Da Wizard like to party. In fact it has been said that the three Muskooters party with a capital F.

However this Wednesday just passed was Ladie Night in Coyote on Soi Convent , so the intrepid Goat stalkers thought they would chance their arm at the said watering hole which does indeed have fine fodder. With 76 Margaritas on the menu its not a bad place for a quafficle or twenty. White skinter English Teacher Goats make up the mainstay but the Thai contingent is growing... Well worth a visit thats for sure.

Unfortunately things got out of hand, after god knows how many bottles of Tequila (thank you Moses) half a dozen jugs of Sangriah and half a gallon of Beer each we all went home and slept.............

Well at least Ralph and Da Wizard did..... and slept well they did too until they were disturbed (mid Rut) by Homer. His morning greeting was "Are we still friends????"

"Err I think so " replied D.W. whilst checking his knuckles for injury....why?

"F### I think I have been attacked"... cries Homer and the phone goes dead. Ralph and Da Wizard arm themselves with kitchen implements and rush to save their buddy.

And they are greeted by this:-

The Vomitorium as Homer's Den is now knows was ....to say the least...well destroyed

Not content with just smashing his own gear up the ubiquitous Homer then decided to give his Fan and 15lb Table Lamp flying lessons from his 33rd floor Vomitorium.... much to the horror of the security staff on the ground floor!!

So now he has a hole in his balcony window and a few extra bills to pay.... Anyone fancy Ladies Night at Coyote next week with Da Big Boys???? Suits you sir!!!

The land of the Free? Nah I don't think so!!!

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission's Carolyn Beck.

Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkeness, Beck said.

The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car.

"We feel that the only way we're going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this," she said.

"There are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they're intoxicated, other than get behind the wheel of a car," Beck said. "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss."

She said the sting operations would continue throughout the state.

The End Game of Project Prostitute

Well its been a very busy few weeks that's for sure. The end game hasn't been blogged as yet because very wisely (as you will come to realise) Da Wizard decided to wait until a safe amount of time had passed just in case things went wrong and nasty.

Well they have gone all wrong... very wrong but I have retained my sanity, although their have been momentary lapses when I have chosen anathstesia and The Famous Grouse to be my mode of escape from my stupid, incomrehensible , weak and pathetic pain. Da Wizard was a wanker!

Thanks to Song who warned me about the risks of spells and black magic. Don't believe in that stuff but it does seem to exist and be a reality for many. You make your own minds up after you have read what happened as Da Wizard is quite frankly bemused by the whole thing. If I had made the time to go and do the whole 'anti spell' thing as I was told then perhaps a lot of people would have been saved a lot of trouble. Thankfully Ralph has stuck by me but I can't say sorry enough to her for all she has endured.

The Viper has two friends Nid and Moh, whom Da Wizard assumed were an item as often happens with female sex workers. Both of these goats are heavy crystal meth and Ya Baa users (means crazy medicine and is a methamphetemine that is rampant in Thailand) and Da Wizard don't like those drugs.

On one occasion Da Wizard promptly slapped the Viper in the chops when he found her high on this junk. Oh ya sorry Oprah! Violence against women sometimes is ok. Da Wizard will not give up da right to give someone a smack when they are being a complete idiot, just cos they are a woman.

Things were going very well between me and the whore (still feeling bitter are we sir? Suits you sir!), when the Viper Goat decided to go home to see her Momma Goat back in Nakhon Nowhere Isaan. Of course Da Wizard had no issues with this accept that the two Witches of Eastwick were accompanying Viper, but unusually, kept his mouth shut and sent her on her way with a few quid in her pocket. Calls from her in Isaan flowed regularly and nothing seemed ary until one day Da Viper stopped radio contact and disappeared for twenty four hours.

This wasn't cause for alarm and she got back on the bugle to me telling me that she had gone out with her friends and got pie eyed forgetting to charge her phone. I didn't ask if pharmaceuticals were involved as I assumed they wouldn't be, but the jitteryness in her voice twigged my antenna a touch but not more than a touch.

She came back late on the thirteenth and Da Wizard was busy so I didn't see her. Valentines came and I thought she would clearly want to see me as Thais make a big deal of any excuse to party ,but ma Viper claimed she had to take friends back home to fuck knows where and had no time but continued to proclaim her unending love for her now, very suspicious benefactor.

So Da Wizard pressured the whore err sorry Viper into meeting him at MBK for lunch. The tremours in her voice again were signs of what was to come.

Yup! She was high! Eyes like dinner plates, chewing gum, eyeballs scanning everywhere as the paranoia was setting in. Da Wizard was cool, asked her, not accused her about gear and apparently accepted her answer.I left knowing the writing was on the wall after agreeing to her pleas to stay at her room the following night.

Then came the radio silence. Her last sms was just to let me know that she loved me and that was at 2pm.

Da Wizard sought Homer's counsel and put forward the possibility that he may finish the whole thing with the aforementioned crack smoking whore. Da Wizard spoke of not being able to deal with a junkie and again cited the risk of super-tolerant Ralp finding out. Homer as always listens and seems to think that Da Wizard has made the correct decision.

At eight I am waiting for her in her room when she breaks radio silence to let me know she will be back in an hour. She is high and Da Wizard thinks of saving souls.

Upon arrival the Viper sits me down and says 'this is difficult for me but I love Nicki" so I promptly pack my stuff and leave. No feelings of pain or fuck all. I gave the ultimatum and lost. Just a piece of street meat... Nothing more but incredibly something less!!! More to follow soon......

The Madness Of Ralph

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Originally uploaded by Da Wizard.

As the madness continues here in Bangkok here we see the result of one of our nights out. Here is Ralph lying in hospital awaiting her five stitches. No it was not Da Wizard but who it was she can't remember. Or so she claims.... Did she have another run in with the hooker? Only time will tell.

To Bali From Basil With Love....

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Originally uploaded by Da Wizard.

"Are the rumours true that Dennis Heggarty is gay true?" screams James. Last night CM2 was a great performance by the Bali contingent. James after singing "Flower of Scotland" collapsed on some non-hooker goat's table after drinking a tumbler of neat Absolut.
Fortunately Randy Gay was on hand to take care of the fat hairy hibernian holligan so Mark and Da Wizard could scoot to Patpong and indulge in the delights of Funky Dojo. Lets hope that Randy and James made it without getting locked up.

There is more news on Project Prostitute but I gotta decide if publishing it will cause Da Wizard problems or not. I think its just best that I tell a third party story about it in a few days so to cover my tracks if it all goes Pete Tong (which it normally does).

Suffice to say....Da Wizard is Back!